Monday, December 31, 2007

The Caffeine Nap Act

1ST GENERAL ASSEMBLY
State of Irritability, Forgetfulness and Fatigue, 2008

Another stupid law (modeled after SB1463, Illinois General Assembly - constitutionality challenged).

Introduced by Rep. Kip

An act concerning education and public safety.

Be it enacted by the People of the State of Irritability, Forgetfulness and Fatigue, represented in the General Assembly:

Section 1. The Xanthine Alkaloid Compound and Siesta Act.

Sec. 0.01. Short title. This Act may be cited as the Caffeine Nap Act.

Sec. 1. In each home, workplace, automobile, or public school classroom where somnolence is an issue, participants SHALL drink a cup of coffee or a soda and immediately take a 15-20 minute nap. This period may be conducted at any time during the day but is recommended during periods of postprandial dip (for example early afternoon, after the midday meal).

Section 99. Effective date. This Act takes effect upon becoming law.

Wednesday, January 3, 2007

The voice Pat hears

The voice Pat hears
But not with his ears

Is ominous indeed
For it’s well established creed

But fret not, a peaceful religion does exist
So rejoice, the fire and brimstone shall not persist

Monday, January 1, 2007

Happy New Year, Saddam is dead

Happy New Year, Saddam is dead
But the Butcher of Baghdad did not lose his head

Tasteful video by the Iraqi government was inept
But a camera phone captured it all while W slept

Hooded thugs taunted the evil dictator on the gallows
Their vendetta executed on a day that was hallowed

They said “God damn you...You're going to hell"
Iran and the White House thought it was just swell

Shiite victims chanted "Moqtada!" at the secular Sunni
An "important milestone" said the "pleased" POTUS cartooney

"Let him swing for three minutes" one witness pled
The birds in the Green Zone will receive no more bread

A day later, the 3000th US soldier fell
"Bring 'em on" to "mission accomplished" hell

With 600,000 dead Iraqis now on our hands
And our sons and daughters still stuck in the sands

Will another revenge killing only bring more dread?
Why are those planes once again in my head?

Happy New Year, Saddam is dead
Perhaps we’ll feel safer if we just stay in bed